There are so many things I remember from my childhood, to my teenage years to now - but as I get older there are so many things I forget. And when people try and stir your memory and you still can't remember, it's actually kind of scary (not to be confused with a blackout from drinking, albeit that's scary too). A few years ago I took a creative writing course at George Brown, where our short stories were based on real life situations. I remember our teacher saying to us, "how do we really know for sure with some of our memories being so far back in time if they really did exist". That concept fucks with my mind, because if you don't have proof to back an old memory, it's true - did it really happen? I remember testing this theory about a plant we had in our third year of university. Now the reason I remember this so well is because I can't save a plant, maintain a plant or grow a plant - pathetic really. But this was Rhonda's plant and every time it was literally on death's door, I'd water it and it would grow back to life...almost instantaneously...no joke. So, when I asked the girls about it recently, all three of them couldn't remember the god damn plant. Now, I know what you're thinking, it was university and I was high all the time. Not true(ish). I'm telling you this really did happen, but sadly I have no proof of the memory other than what's inside my wee old head.
This week, my past came into my present in a very surreal way. I re-connected with someone I impacted in both good and bad ways (sadly, I think, more bad than good). Apparently, I hurt this person to a point where they harboured feelings for years, which is crushing because I know how horrible that can be. Fortunately we cleared everything up, I told the story from my point of view (now and then) and that person did the same for me.
Time is a funny and amazing thing. From my memory, I'm pretty sure I was explicit back then about my feelings and felt I articulated them in a way that person would understand. To be honest, I think it was just time and living life that caused that person to re-evaluate our situation.
Very few people have that opportunity in life to face someone or something from their past to let them know they've made an impact and reconcile, if need be. I think we both felt lucky and grateful for what happened this week. Sometimes I wish I had that chance myself, but I'm also happy to just keep moving forward, putting all my memories (tangible or not) in my basket of life.