Thursday, July 9, 2009

For Better, Not For Worse

I just caught this documentary on CBC TV tonight and thought it was interesting given that I'm not a child of divorce.  I'm completely impressed by good marriages, strong commitment and shared compromise. I do believe marriage is a fine balance of give and take and those that do it well are masters of the equilibrium and I'm in awe of it.  

After 42 years of marriage, mom has told me that she loves dad more today than she ever did the day she married him.   As someone who has personally never made it past 4 years of commitment in an intimate relationship, that comment impresses the beeejeebus out of me.   But you can see that it's true when you're with them (well, some days). They respect each other. I've often said, when I look around the room and see the happiest couples, they all share ONE thing in common.  They genuinely respect their partner - as a human, a professional, a lover, a friend, a brother/sister or parent.  And while there will be years you don't love each other - you'd never hurt the other, because you respect them.

In watching this hour-long docu tonight, it broke my heart.   There is nothing worse than losing love.  The feeling is sad and sickening. And of the three couples on the show, I was effected most by this couple - you can clearly see he is checked-out and she is heart broken at the loss of the life she vowed to have with him...for better, or worse.  Problem is the 'worse' arrived and one person broke a promise made during a time of love.

An ex of mine once told me, "it easy to love someone when they're at their best, it's at their worst when your test of true love really shows".  

So, to my parents, my brother, Ali and BJ (who celebrated year 9 of marriage yesterday) and to all my friends in incredible relationships, I am impressed and in awe of the love you share. Remember that love and why you got married on those ugly days.

Or, on those ugly days, just give me a shout if you want a taste of the good life that you're missing. :)

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