Tuesday, October 6, 2009

my two dads

It's almost two years ago to the day that I moved into my cozy little apartment in Leslieville. The plan was to only stay for one year.  But the problem is I'm kinda attached to my landlords, something I can honestly say I never thought would happen.  I'm mean everyone usually hates their slumlord, but mine are different...mine are gaylords!  Todd and Matt own the house (well actually, I might own it by now after two years of paying their mortgage) and I live on the top floor.  Over the last two years, we've gone from a tenant/landlord relationship to being truly the best of friends.  

They've lent me their truck to take friends to a Jack Johnson concert; they've come to the rescue many times when I've needed help looking after Dawson; they've made me dinner on numerous occasions and I've only returned the favour once with my 'white trash pot pie'; we religiously watch American Idol together and if I miss a night they don't understand why; they've met many of my lifer friends and gone to dinner with all of us on several occasions. They've even made my mom feel comfortable enough to share stories I've never heard before. I feel safe with them here and somewhat protected (although I could probably kick any robbers ass better than they could...well better than Todd anyway).  More importantly we can say almost anything to each other without hurting each others feelings (I said almost).  I often wonder what it will be like to come home without them here.  I mean really, I've lived 2 years without a dryer and a black cable cord running across my living room because the electricity isn't up to snuff.  Why?  Because it's worth living here for so many other reasons.

Aside from their friendship, they give me new perspective and they've showed me what real love looks like with a different 'face on it'.  It's a relationship unlike anything I've ever known intimately in my life, nor is it like any relationship in my list of family and friends.  They've been together for nine years and they do things differently than us straights, but sometimes I think they've got it figured out better than 'we' do.  They've been through a lot together and their age gap is close to that of Ashton and Demi's.  Aside from this photo, they've also broken down a few stereotypes for me in that all gays aren't "so queeenniee!". 

Now they are about to take their relationship to the next level. Parenthood.

Last weekend, we were at brunch where I got to introduce them to someone special in my life. The conversation, as expected, was seamless and at ease.   And since Todd is very outspoken and because his ovaries are aching, he brought up "Operation Eggs Benett".  He started to explain to us the difference between adoption and in vitro and why it's more challenging when you're a gay couple.  But it was when he said, "you know for us it's not as easy as a bottle of wine and a bear-skin rug" that it hit me.  The things we take for granted in life. And how so many people can freely have a baby that really aren't fit to be solid parents. And how for me, it could happen in one simple night and for them it will likely take up to 2 years.  It almost makes you want to say, here take one of mine because you have a precious gift that is like kryptonite to them.   

Anyway, I suggest you follow their story for more perspective and to just see how much love there is out there to give but how sometimes it's a bit hard it is to receive. 


  1. Hey Cheryl,

    Love, love, love this post. I tried to comment to the guys directly but it would not let me. Please let them know how excited I am for them. They are going to be great parents!! Not to mention they have a great live in babysitter. So excited to follow their blog. Much love!!


  2. great news for your friends. Adoption is hard no matter what the gender of the parents. I know a young straight married couple who are into year 2 1/2 of their adoption journey. The wait will be worth it even if it takes longer than two years. I waited 35 years for Marc to become a father. You know it is all relative. Give them my best wishes from your favorite Auntie