I just finished reading "Smart Women Finish Rich" for the second time. Honestly, this book is amazing, it doesn't alienate you for being a poor bitch in your 30s. (main reason why I like it). It is so important for you to read it even if you're a man. And more importantly, if you're a married woman. Anyway, at the end of the book David Bach writes about the fact that after we're 'gone' no one will remember us for how much/little money we had or how good we are with managing our money. So don't become consumed with it. The cool thing about his writing style is that he makes managing money approachable. More importantly, he talks about your values in life and why what YOU value is so important to the way you invest.
Which got me thinking (I know, big fucking surprise there)...
We always listen to what people tell us and we constantly have people chirping in our ear about what is the right thing to do. I'm not talking just about our awesome friends, I'm talking about family, co-workers, acquaintances, etc.
Buy a house! buy two houses! You should rent! Invest in stocks! save for your retirement! open an RESP! I did this and it worked! don't do this!
But it doesn't stop there with finances alone, listen to the noise all around you in what everyone has to say about YOUR entire life. How do these people know about what is truly right for me? I thought the only person that knew these things about me, was me? And if that's the case why does this advice yammer on in every aspect of our life. And the even bigger frustration - why do we listen to this noise?
I was talking to one of my close girlfriends the other night (I want her to remain nameless so that no judging happens in the blogosphere) - she's married and has a child. We were talking about the pressures we put on ourselves at different stages in our life. This is the reason I love my girlies, we are all at very different stages in our life but we can talk for hours about life connections between us. I was talking about the pressures of being single, she was talking about the pressures of being a wife and mother of one child. These pressures that we were referring to are the noise. So I asked her, "what choices do you think most people would make in life if society didn't exist?"...there was a silence....she*** responded, "I'm not sure as many people would get married or have kids". Gasp! Oh, the controversy that I've uncovered right here on my wee blog. I agreed with her and aside just that one topic I think we'd all live with more freedom and happiness.
So after that rant my point is this, shut the noise out today and do what you want
(without hurting others, but this goes without saying).
***she is very happily married and the best mom in the world, not to mention a cool woman and amazing friend.
***she is very happily married and the best mom in the world, not to mention a cool woman and amazing friend.
i'm tapping my finger to my nose here.
ReplyDeletespot.on.
Cheryl, whether you are single or married what is most important is that you love and accept yourself for what you are. Only when you love and accept yourself unconditionally can you love and accept others. This is being broadcast to you from my sound proof room.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure people are telling you what to do? or are they merely offering opinions? I think one of the worst assumptions in life is believing that people are telling us what to do.
ReplyDeleteFor years I was very angry at my Dad... he always told me what to do. I thought. Now that he's no longer on this earth... and I'm older, with kids of my own, I realize that all he ever wanted to do was talk to me. He gave his opinions. He didn't expect me to act on them. He was merely human with his own views. But we don't learn that until our own kids think we're always telling them what to do. It's a circle. A learning circle. Just like life. Love, Irene